Need help increasing your child’s frustration tolerance?

Support your child by empathizing and encouraging problem solving. If you see your child is frustrated try this,

• Provide language for what you see. “Tommy, I can see that you are frustrated because your toy is not working.”
• Label and check what your child is feeling, “You look angry, is that right?”
• Pause and wait for your child to respond
• Provide options for a solution. “Do you need help, a break, to try again?”

Many young children experience frustration or anger when we do not give in to a request (e.g., to have cookies before dinner or iPad time before bed). To help your child build frustration tolerance overtime, it is important to not give in to what your child is asking for in order to prevent them from experiencing anger or having a tantrum. Say “no” calmly, firmly, kindly, and with empathy. For example, “Kaleb, you are not having cookies before dinner. Having cookies before dinner will make it less likely that you will eat dinner. I’m sorry this is hard. I love you and I’m here to help you until your anger is out.” Offering a distraction can help; “Kaleb, why don’t you help mommy stir the pasta sauce?” If your child has a tantrum, stay calm and wait until your child has calmed.

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